had my own recalibration at 25/26, and feel like the metamorphosis is still ongoing. taking stock, making friends with your fear, leaning into the joy of what could have been - that is what your late 20s should be for. and how lucky we are for it!
The part that stuck out to me here was connecting tis all to the worst epidemiological and social effects of the pandemic. In particular, I know you mentioned your falling out with your friend over boundaries and emotional dependence. Similar happened to me with a friend of about 4 years I met online during the pandemic, and we messaged each other every day about everything and eventually it all came to a head after more and more time in person. I admire your discovery for more independence and growth from losing that close friend.
The longer time passes the better it does get. Still have a few times where I think about it but accept that those moments and friendships were meant to be at the time they were for a reason, and those people may or may not come back in your life. I've learned to forgive myself and acknowledge that every relationship is a lesson in who we become.
this was a lovely piece, thank you! the part about healing your relationship with social media resonated a lot with me. this past year (and moreso the past few months), i have tried to distance myself from socials, deleting instagram and tiktok. losing yourself in the virtual world is simply not as fun as it used to be. i found myself trying to fit into labels, digital aesthetics, losing authenticity and what felt natural and for what? it got me thinking about how we share so much of our lives online, and had me wondering if i was sharing because i Wanted to, or if i was sharing because i Wanted this artificial version of myself to exist and Be Seen by others. as i was building this carefully curated online presence, it made me realize i was losing a sense of self in the process. and i'm sorry to say it but! it really it that damn phone. i find that the times where i feel closest to myself are the ones i Actually spend With myself, and not just by myself on my phone. At times, i genuinely get sad thinking how much time we spend on our phones when we could be spending it doing so much more (not in an overly productive way but in a "look at the birds! look at the clouds! hug a tree! way). overall, i just wish to be more mindful about my social media consumption and how i care for my close ones and myself. thank you again for sharing this !
so very true!!!! in the past few years (post-covid specifically) i definitely think our identities were slowly experiencing a mitosis into our real life identities and our online identities, and the longer we left them on their own the further apart they became. it really is that damn phone! lol. thank you for reading!!!
Your writing always moves something in my heart. And this particular piece was kind of an eye opener I must say. Recently I've noticed that I've been using or consuming social media so much that I am practically just on my phone 24/7 and I wanted to break free so badly. I've lost my attention span, this is not the brain that used to finish books or novels in a week. Now I struggle to even read 10 pages. What pains my heart is that my happy cutie parents are trapped in this Instagram and YouTube era. I see them on their phone, it's like we've stopped talking around. I can't blame them if I'm doing the same thing, so I'm gonna work on myself first before I point finger to others. I'll come back to this piece alot, thank you Tara. I'm so glad I woke up thus morning and thought "hmmm I wonder what happened to that blog I used to read back then" it led me back here again. So much gratitude and love.
:') thank you so much for reading (and returning)! i feel for you – my sisters and i always joke that our parents are screenagers, but reality is that we're just as bad. regarding focus i will say things get a lot better after you set some boundaries. i've been reading so much lately, books that i've struggled to put down (and even got annoyed when someone texted me because i had to stop lol). it's only been a couple months of my new internet routine but i do think we are innately built to consume art and live slowly, so we can always return back to that state. it just takes a little more effort now
beautiful writing as always, tara. and the timeliness of it! i wrote a note a few days ago which started with, “i’ve been on the internet for over half my life…”. there’s so much i want to say in response to this but i’ll keep it short lol.. while i’ve been having “fuck this, i’m gonna Lob my phone into a river” moments (which are definitely increasing in frequency) for a while, i do like the internet or, rather, what it used to be. i relearnt how to code a little while ago after reading about the handmade web (something to research maybe!) and i’m kind of in love with idea of creating my own digital space. a place where i can enjoy Being Online without also being at the mercy of vulturous tech giants. i wish you luck as you also renegotiate the way you use the internet! to more being in the world :')
what a special way to recalibrate your relationship with the internet!!!! i've been dabbling with the handmade web (mainly re fun old websites that served very little purpose but bring a lot of joy) and it's been so fun to explore the roots of all of (gestures widely) this. i'll have to look a little more into it. i hope you find your corner soon <3 and thank you very much
i’m always so grateful to receive your newsletters in my inbox, Tara. i’ll be turning 25 on may 8th and, like you, i’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with social media and the real world. thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. lots of love from Brasil.
love this Tara <3 I think we can all benefit from at least a tiny break. I love the part about stepping back from constantly communicating w a partner n feeling even more loved. -margie
i felt the same way when i turned 25... a gentle recalibration (probably possible before 25, and after 25, but turning 25 provided the impetus to look it in the eye and let it happen)—even though much has stayed the same, everything is different. <3
aw hello!!! thank you for your kind words <3 we are friends already!!!! happy early birthday -- each year brings a bout of clarity, and it seems you're on the right path. i think awareness is always the first step
had my own recalibration at 25/26, and feel like the metamorphosis is still ongoing. taking stock, making friends with your fear, leaning into the joy of what could have been - that is what your late 20s should be for. and how lucky we are for it!
making friends with your fear -- absolutely!!!! don't we both know it. thanks avery xx
The part that stuck out to me here was connecting tis all to the worst epidemiological and social effects of the pandemic. In particular, I know you mentioned your falling out with your friend over boundaries and emotional dependence. Similar happened to me with a friend of about 4 years I met online during the pandemic, and we messaged each other every day about everything and eventually it all came to a head after more and more time in person. I admire your discovery for more independence and growth from losing that close friend.
thank you!!!! friendship breakups are the worst. hope you're doing okay
The longer time passes the better it does get. Still have a few times where I think about it but accept that those moments and friendships were meant to be at the time they were for a reason, and those people may or may not come back in your life. I've learned to forgive myself and acknowledge that every relationship is a lesson in who we become.
this was a lovely piece, thank you! the part about healing your relationship with social media resonated a lot with me. this past year (and moreso the past few months), i have tried to distance myself from socials, deleting instagram and tiktok. losing yourself in the virtual world is simply not as fun as it used to be. i found myself trying to fit into labels, digital aesthetics, losing authenticity and what felt natural and for what? it got me thinking about how we share so much of our lives online, and had me wondering if i was sharing because i Wanted to, or if i was sharing because i Wanted this artificial version of myself to exist and Be Seen by others. as i was building this carefully curated online presence, it made me realize i was losing a sense of self in the process. and i'm sorry to say it but! it really it that damn phone. i find that the times where i feel closest to myself are the ones i Actually spend With myself, and not just by myself on my phone. At times, i genuinely get sad thinking how much time we spend on our phones when we could be spending it doing so much more (not in an overly productive way but in a "look at the birds! look at the clouds! hug a tree! way). overall, i just wish to be more mindful about my social media consumption and how i care for my close ones and myself. thank you again for sharing this !
so very true!!!! in the past few years (post-covid specifically) i definitely think our identities were slowly experiencing a mitosis into our real life identities and our online identities, and the longer we left them on their own the further apart they became. it really is that damn phone! lol. thank you for reading!!!
Your writing always moves something in my heart. And this particular piece was kind of an eye opener I must say. Recently I've noticed that I've been using or consuming social media so much that I am practically just on my phone 24/7 and I wanted to break free so badly. I've lost my attention span, this is not the brain that used to finish books or novels in a week. Now I struggle to even read 10 pages. What pains my heart is that my happy cutie parents are trapped in this Instagram and YouTube era. I see them on their phone, it's like we've stopped talking around. I can't blame them if I'm doing the same thing, so I'm gonna work on myself first before I point finger to others. I'll come back to this piece alot, thank you Tara. I'm so glad I woke up thus morning and thought "hmmm I wonder what happened to that blog I used to read back then" it led me back here again. So much gratitude and love.
:') thank you so much for reading (and returning)! i feel for you – my sisters and i always joke that our parents are screenagers, but reality is that we're just as bad. regarding focus i will say things get a lot better after you set some boundaries. i've been reading so much lately, books that i've struggled to put down (and even got annoyed when someone texted me because i had to stop lol). it's only been a couple months of my new internet routine but i do think we are innately built to consume art and live slowly, so we can always return back to that state. it just takes a little more effort now
beautiful writing as always, tara. and the timeliness of it! i wrote a note a few days ago which started with, “i’ve been on the internet for over half my life…”. there’s so much i want to say in response to this but i’ll keep it short lol.. while i’ve been having “fuck this, i’m gonna Lob my phone into a river” moments (which are definitely increasing in frequency) for a while, i do like the internet or, rather, what it used to be. i relearnt how to code a little while ago after reading about the handmade web (something to research maybe!) and i’m kind of in love with idea of creating my own digital space. a place where i can enjoy Being Online without also being at the mercy of vulturous tech giants. i wish you luck as you also renegotiate the way you use the internet! to more being in the world :')
what a special way to recalibrate your relationship with the internet!!!! i've been dabbling with the handmade web (mainly re fun old websites that served very little purpose but bring a lot of joy) and it's been so fun to explore the roots of all of (gestures widely) this. i'll have to look a little more into it. i hope you find your corner soon <3 and thank you very much
Absolutely loved this piece! Thank you for sharing!
thank you for reading!
i’m always so grateful to receive your newsletters in my inbox, Tara. i’ll be turning 25 on may 8th and, like you, i’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with social media and the real world. thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. lots of love from Brasil.
thank you -- happy early birthday to you!! much love right back
love this Tara <3 I think we can all benefit from at least a tiny break. I love the part about stepping back from constantly communicating w a partner n feeling even more loved. -margie
margie <3333 mwah. thank you
It's comforting to be let into your mind and world. Loved this.
<3 thanks mae
i am always so pleased to receive your writing in my inbox, tara :') you are endlessly inspiring as a person and as a writer! happy belated bday <3
what a joy to hear from you too, aarushi! thank you always
this makes me look forward to reaching this clarity at 25!
thanks alice :') do not be mistaken though, i am still very confused
brilliant and beautiful and inspiring
i felt the same way when i turned 25... a gentle recalibration (probably possible before 25, and after 25, but turning 25 provided the impetus to look it in the eye and let it happen)—even though much has stayed the same, everything is different. <3
yes :') love u stace. can't wait to grow in our late 20s together
aw hello!!! thank you for your kind words <3 we are friends already!!!! happy early birthday -- each year brings a bout of clarity, and it seems you're on the right path. i think awareness is always the first step